My Doctor told me I'm low on Vitamin D... 

I definitely need more D

Flavoured lube is techinically meat seasoning, if you think about it

You're my handyman. 

So get your tools out and start drilling!

Are you winter? 

Because you'll be coming soon

I'm so good, Santa came twice.

Its officially hard nipple season

Are you a termite? 

Cuz you look like you eat wood

You're so hot, even my zipper is falling for you

You leave my soul wet and throbbing

My guitar teacher has always praised my fingering ability, 

especially on the G-string

Are you a burger?

Cuz you can be the meat between my buns

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you

Roses are red

Foxes are clever

I like your butt

Let me touch it forever

It's not a beard, it's a saddle

Your body is made up of seventy percent water...

And I'm thirsty!

I'm no hipster

But I can make your hips stir

Torn between looking like a snack...

And eating one